Life on the highway
There is something about living life on the highway.
It is thrilling going at 200 km per hour, hair blown by the wind. It is amazing how much can be done at this speed. How far we can go in no time. It feels like every opportunity, meeting and curveball are so effortlessly reachable.
Yet, throughout the years, I have witness, I have experienced and I have learnt the hard way that living life on the highway isn't sustainable. It burns both mind and body. Let me tell you something: it is frustrating me. Here we are, at the end of this frantic race, defeated, breathless, worn out and drained.
I am talking for myself here, and I don’t know about you. There are so many possibilities out there, and I want them all. Yes, maybe I sound greedy, but life is short man. And, yes, surely it sounds like FOMO (fear of missing out) is blathering: “I don't want to miss out”. Oh and the high speed gives me a sense of worthiness. I recognize and value my life more when my weekly to-do list is done by Wednesday, when I squeezed an extra run, when I overbooked my calendar with social plans. Yes, as I am reading myself now, I find my reflection pretty sad. After all the work I have done on myself and never cease to be doing, am I really being dragged around by FOMO? Do I still need to overdo everything to find self-validation? Should I know better?
Here is the catch though. I am sure you got it too.
What I am reading here is my ego saying “ I am unsatisfied”. There are crawling thoughts generated from a place of scarcity: “I do not have enough, I am not doing enough, I am not enough”.
It does sound like I am being hard on myself up there, right? Truth is, maybe I am but it is also very humbling for me to pause, to reflect and to take a step back away from my raging ego.
I have been reading this book “Wake up and Roar” by Papaji, and something specific hit a little stronger. He talked about “the teacher” within us. To some extent, that made me geared down slightly. It made me think about the teachers who have crossed my path until now. You know, the ones that really make a difference? There was a lady in second grade, a man during my teenage years, a handful of yoga teachers, my latest boss. They all had a couple of things in common:
They took the energy and the time to deeply get me, the deep version of myself that I don't often disclose.
They saw me for who I was at that time.
They deeply acknowledged and accepted me.
They never compared me to anyone else but to myself.
They saw my potential and they guided me towards it.
They showed endless compassion.
They were patient with me.
Here is the little spark: is there a way I can do that for myself, being my very own teacher?
Yes, I think Papaji is right. The best teacher we will ever encounter is the one within. Yet, it is nearly impossible to hear their voice of wisdom when we’re going too fast, because even our own breath becomes imperceptible. Their insight is inaudible when ego is vomiting self-doubting chatters in the mind.
“So what is next?” I hear you asking. My friend, I am asking myself the same.
Realistically, ego will always be within all of us and its voice will always resonate. Thus, there is no point in trying to suppress its presence.
Yet, maybe, we find a way to give priority to our teacher.
Maybe the way is to slow down so that we can see and understand ourselves better, so that we can move forward with self-compassion.
Perhaps, we stop comparing ourselves to the outside world.
I also believe that we can always benefit from the guidance of external teachers because it humbles our ego and it helps our teacher to gain wisdom.
This week, I have been practising driving slower and taking the smaller roads. It has been good. I feel more grounded and more present. My work has been fruitful and filled with love. It all comes down to the little habits that we know will rewire us, and to have the discipline of sticking to them. It is also about the balance between the discipline we set for ourselves as a teacher and the discipline dictated by our ego.
Guys, life is complicated but it doesn't have to be that dramatic. I asked you on Friday to give me three things you know work for you. It was so loving, so soft and so compassionate. I want to share them here if you don’t mind.
Writing and journaling
Exercising
Yoga
Shopping
Saying “NO” more often
Disconnecting from technology
Reading
Meditating
Walking in nature
Calling love ones
Reiki
Less coffee, more water
Doing one thing at the time
I think that, if you took the time to read through this, you already are on the right path (I mean, who, in their right mind, reads articles when we can swipe through TikTok videos and fast paced WhatsApp vocals?), that you heard the teacher inside of you.
Take a moment to thank yourself,
My friend, you are doing just fine.
Please, allow me to send you a big hug,
Clémentine
